Well, after the woman at the Consulate asked me why B and I didn't just get married, instead of signing a Pacs, she said "Well, that's personal. I can't tell people they should get married. I mean, I'm divorced."
One month minimum until I find out if I'll have the visa or not. And they can always say "No, but thank you for your $135 processing fee anyway."
We're hatching plans for how we can get married, before or after I get or don't get the visa, and then change my status and my carte de séjour so I can work, and do this and that and some more. Meanwhile, I'm slowly lowering my bank account filled with money I was supposed to use to buy a sewing machine (birthday gift, I was supposed to choose the machine in France and withdraw the money from my American account). I need a job, but I don't know if I should try for something brainless or something to add to my résumé.
Then I find out that the private school where my dad works is looking for a long term substitute French teacher for the middle school. Maternity leave December to June. Introductory French for grades 6-8. Curriculum already all set (and teaching aides made as well I bet). School has oodles of money and lots of resources (not necessarily for salaries though!). But I tried teaching and said "Hmm, I'd rather work for a museum or performing arts company."
I hate being so far from B and having 9 hours difference. I'm still just a visitor in my parents' house, and not because my mom rearranged my room (she didn't touch it), but because my home is with B in France with all our stuff. Here, there's no fold-out futon couch that spills its guts every time we try to sit on it and watch a movie. The fridge is huge and filled with tons of stuff, which I still find strangely disturbing ("Mom, do you even know what you have in there?" "Sort of..."). I have two swimming suits, 4 pairs of sandals and 1 pair of flipflops, but only one pair of jeans and one pair of capris with me. There's no laundry drying in the living room or half eaten baguette to be finished. Things are just not right here.
But I imagine the teaching job or the library job I found at another private school will pay better than a bilingual secretary job I might find in France. With all the rejection letters B is opening for me while I'm here, I don't think there's a huge chance of me getting a job there anyway.
Hmmm, no or not much pay but be with B in France, a lot more pay I could save, but live with my parents and stay in San Diego.... Time for some Picross on my DS.
1 comment:
Wow, the middle school French-teaching job does sound tempting and very interesting -- but I guess in the end it all comes down to what you want, in your heart. I can understand the frustration about finding a job in France; it definitely isn't easy. But it's not impossible either. I couldn't imagine being back in the States living with my parents either, but then again, I did do it for a while after teaching in France... Before moving back here in 2002. But my heart is definitely in France now -- I think what you're saying is that even with the difficulties and challenges that life in France might bring, if your heart and your love are here, then maybe that IS where you belong! But only you can know that in the end...
Perhaps if you can hang in there and take that job for half a year, you could save money and then move back over here. Or maybe you can just let life bring things to you, bit by bit -- and take the risk! I'm sure if you talk it through with your boy you will be able to come to the best decision for the both of you.
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