A while back I got an invitation to a wedding near Bèziers at the end of this month. It's a French friend I met my senior at college who's marrying an American, but they decided to have the ceremony in France.
I got one of those "So, we haven't heard back from you yet...." emails 2-3 weeks ago, and I'm still waffling.
On the one hand, I'm touched that I was invited, and in the great scheme of things, Bèziers is not that far away.
And then there's the other side of me: but you hardly know her! You want to spend a whole day with her friends and family you've never ever met and will never see again? I don't even have her phone number and the only emails I've gotten from her are group updates. We're really not close. Plus, there's a community band musical festival going on the same weekend in Ariège and there's a band that really needs flute players.
I can't decide if I was invited because the bride really wanted me to be there (because we're just acquaintances really), or just to be polite since I live in Southern France and might take it poorly if I found out her wedding took place not to far away and I wasn't invited.
If I go, I have to figure out how I'm going to get there, which probably means driving since the reception is at a chateau outside of town and I'm assuming there's no bus service. If I do go, I'd still have to be back for the music festival on Sunday. If I don't, I'll be warmly welcomed by a band that needs musicians to fill in for the weekend.
I suppose technically I'm supposed to send them a wedding gift whether or not I go. I don't know how they're going to take the gifts they receive here in France back to the States with them.
My mom got an invitation from some distant cousin's daughter last summer and I told her to forget it because it was gift-digging. We couldn't even figure out how the girl was related to us, so she must have been really desperate for gifts to send us an invitation.
I wonder if the bride would be relieved if I didn't go (one less meal to serve) or disappointed. I barely even know her and I only met her fiancé once, but I'm always bummed when people come to France and don't make an effort to come down south. I hate to be one of those people who can't make a minimum of effort.
Hmmm, okay, I've thought about it... and I still haven't decided.....
3 comments:
I'd lean toward going, if only to be able to go to a wedding in a château. And who knows, as a bonus, you may even find a barely legal boy to dance with (haha).
I have been told that in terms of gifts, a lot of times the family and friends get together and "cotise" for the honeymoon, so they can afford a really nice one. I felt bad that I am leaving just a few days before Ben's friend's wedding, people I have FINALLY gotten to know and like, and wanted to give a gift, but he said no, don't worry, they're all just putting in money. Not sure if this is true everywhere, but I love the idea!
I think she invited a lot of us from MPL/French dept. I got an invite, as did Simar. I know Christine is going, if that helps.
- Becca
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