Lesson learned

I saw Sex and the City in VO with a Dutch and Brazilian woman this evening. It was a really fun movie: made me laugh, and just about brought a tear to my eye at one point.

Afterwards we had a drink together and chatted for a while, and I got some perspective on myself.

First off, when we got out of the theater, it was 8pm, and the first two café/bars we tried were closing and turned us away.

"We want to have a drink, but they turn us away!" my Brazilian friend said.

"Well, it is 8pm and more time to eat than have a coffee. Plus it's Sunday evening, so what can you expect...." I trailed off.

And I realized that it wasn't strange to me that they turned us away. I mean it's Sunday. It's normal to me now that most places are closed and it's hard to find a café or bar still serving on a Sunday evening.

We chatted about our different cultures after the Brazilian woman asked us what we thought of French culture. She's here accompanying her husband who's doing doctoral research at the university. Since he husband is a student, she just has the right to live in France while he's here, but not to work, which has become very difficult for her because she went to school to become a psychologist. Here she is in a foreign culture and she can't use any of her education. I don't think she'd ever studied French before coming here, just English, so learning the language and culture at one time have been a huge hurdle.

When I met her a few weeks ago, I saw a lot of myself 3 years ago in her. She said she's had a hard time making friends because she still doesn't speak French very well, and she's frustrated by stores being closed on Sunday and the lack of high-techness in France (um, SNCF website made my monkeys anyone???).

While I still have my complaints and rant about how the BTS Secrétariat shouldn't even exist, I realized how many things I've just kind of absorbed and accepted. Things being closed on Sunday isn't so much as a hassle anymore, but a reason to get my rear in gear the rest of the week, and an opportunity to go sunbathe in the park with B. The lack of effective websites means I run more errands in order to go in person, and that usually I have an answer right then and there. And while salaries are way lower than in the US, I don't go to doctors that charge a depassement d'honoraires anymore because I don't think I should have to pay more. The $12,000 a year tuition at the private business school here in Toulouse even seems expensive to me now.

Whenever I'm in a funk about my imperfect French or my still lacking understanding of life here in France, B reminds me of how far I've come. It's hard to remember where you used to be, though, when inside you've always been you! I regret not making a video or a recording of my French and my impressions when I first arrived in Montpellier in 2004, because it would have been something tangible to refer to. Perhaps it took meeting someone just beginning their journey to remind me of how far along it I am. So I'll say, lesson learned, I've come further than I give myself credit.