The voice of reason

"Just trust yourself. Then you will know how to live." -Goethe

I just talked with my aunt, and as B said "Finally, someone reasonable."

She told me a little of what my mom (her little sister) had said to her, and what she thought my parents were thinking, and helped me understand things a little better.

And then she supported me and told me that I should only do things for this wedding that I really wanted to do. She said she would stick up for me when talking to my mom. And she said our simple ideas sounded great.

If there's one thing I regret about living abroad, it's not being able to see my aunt (and uncle) more often. In a lot of ways, I see them as my parents and I look up to them. My aunt and I have always been close, and my mom says I'm the daughter she never had.

I feel refreshed and renewed. A bit positive about the wedding, instead of all the negativity I've been feeling recently.

She mentioned something interesting as well: "I think this is a culture clash between you and B's life and lifestyle in France, and, well, I guess your parents' expectations for a typical American wedding." I knew my ideas about weddings and marriage in general where different from my parents and some of my friends, but I just thought they were differences of preference, and not of culture. But it boils down to fundamental differences in beliefs of the importance of a wedding ceremony and what marriage means, and I think it is a real culture clash.

As I said to my aunt, "I guess I have to stick to my guns and shock a few people. Tell them what we want, end of story."