I took the paperwork to the rental agency in Toulouse today, so hopefully we'll be able to do the walk through and get the keys the end of next week. Pretty soon we'll have a new home! That way we can move, then clean our old apartment and be ready for the final walk through on the 28th. And then have a few days before B starts working in February.
The rules for renting and official business in France are different enough from the States, that I just feel off balance. I want to be on top of things and be savvy about the whole process, but I still don't know how everything works or how to spot things that aren't right. With the real estate agent today I thought I understood everything, and then realized while we were shaking hands goodbye that maybe I didn't. That's where it's hard when you speak a language well but not natively. I understood something, but was it exactly what she said? I start second guessing myself and wondering if I'll forget some step or task and put things three days behind.
I feel like I've been slacking off with my job search and general career/education planning, but I shouldn't because I've been really busy researching and visiting apartments. I feel like opportunities are passing me by and I'm not on top of things like I want to be.
In the end, I think it's the difficulty of letting go, of accepting that in France I can't be the same person I'd be in the States. It's hard to stop comparing myself to what friends or fellow alums are doing in the States, but I should. They didn't have to create a new life in a different language and country.
Things will work out, I know. Maybe not like I hope, but they will.
5 comments:
Your comment sums up perfectly my own assessment of my French ability: "I understood something, but was it exactly what she said?"
It isn't easy! Sometimes I'll say to myself that I completely understood something someone said, then I come to find out later that I actually misunderstood a key piece in the sentence, and failed to do something I agreed to do, or agreed with an opinion that ordinarily I would have differed on, etc. Makes me feel like a child!
Yes, things will work out, don't worry! I think you're doing great. And remember: you're following YOUR path and where you want to take YOUR life, so it's entirely different from what any other person might be doing. I, too, am guilty of comparing myself, far more than I should, and most recently I've been trying to make peace with the fact that I may not be cut out for some "career-driven" life, so to speak, and that there's no shame in that. I have other needs, desires and wishes, and that's perfectly fine. I hate feeling like I have to "keep up with the Joneses." We're all individuals, and that's what makes us so special!
(OK, end of my clichéd, sappy speech. All sunshine and fairies, I know -- it isn't easy, but if I didn't reassure myself this way, I don't know what I would do!)
Yes- real estate transactions in a different language...bad enough in english. We meet two builders tomorrow for a quote on renovating our ruin before we make an offer.
Now thats going to be interesting..masonry/plumbing/roofing/cement vocabulary challenge...I'll leave it to the bloke and nod knowingly and try to look sceptical like I know it all already....
Aawww! This post broke my heart!
I too went through that phase of constantly feeling like life was somehow passing me by. It was hard to watch my friends back home in New York do exciting things with their lives and careers while I was struggling just trying to figure out how to conjugate verbs! It was quite horrible.
But the good news is---that feeling eventually goes away. Never forget that the life you are leading now is someone else's dream come true.
Enjoy!
p.s. I am constantly misunderstanding my Mother-in-law and agreeing to do the most ridiculous things like spending all day cleaning my windows with her or shopping for hair brushes.
God help us.
I can relate to the feeling like you are a different person here in France.
I'd be much more extroverted back in the States. I quite often feel like I need to explain my jokes here, which of course means they stop being funny.
A few French friends have accused me of being a little shy; my friends back home would pee themselves if they heard that!
I constantly remind myself that this is the life I've chosen, so day by day, I work a little harder on reclaiming my former self, if you know what I mean.
Rachelle
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