I just back from a Brazilian couple's going-away party. I met Janaina last year when I volunteered for a childrens' theater festival, and we both were looking for ways to fill our empty days. Janaina's husband did doctoral research at one of the universities here in Toulouse, which brought their lives to France for a year and a half. On the 26th they're going back to Brazil.
The end of their time here is bittersweet. Janaina had a really hard time because she didn't speak the language at all before she came, they started out in a studio meant for 1 person (before getting a slightly larger student apartment), she didn't have a job or classes or anything in particular, and she didn't know anyone. Now they both speak French reasonably well, have met lots of people, and have gotten to know the area.
The party was really neat because there were people from all over: Turkey, Finland, Holland, Wales, Mexico, Romania, Germany, and Brazil. I was the only native English speaker and no one was native French, but the evening went back and forth between both, then lots of Portuguese when 4 Brazilian friends showed up, then some Spanish between the Mexicans, the Welsh guy who lived in Spain before, and my Romanian friend's husband who lived in Spain until he was 13.
We all talked about the difficulties of living in France, the advantages and disadvantages, how great it was to make friends from around the world, and then so hard to say goodbye just when you were starting to get to know them. There was a discussion with some of the Brazilian girls of the fact that outside of Brazil getting a bikini wax that involved removing all or most of the hair was called Brazilian, but that there aren't many nudist beaches in Brazil, and when they do exist, they're only accessible by foot (no roads).
Some of the friends of friends I knew, others I didn't, but I hope I'll be seeing them again. As March grew near and I knew Janaina and her husband would be moving back I started kicking myself for not doing things with her more often. Mostly I let life get in the way (although when I met her, telephone conversations to agree on plans were rather difficult; her French has really improved). It's not a good excuse, but I think I was also tired of trying to do the most possible with a friend before she or I moved away. Like so many expats in France, I haven't been in the same place long.
B and I watched Yes Man with Jim Carrey this past week, and it got me to thinking about participating more. Maybe because some of my earliest best friends were really close and we always did everything together, I have a hard time when it's more ambiguous or requires a lot of follow-up on my part.
Making friends makes me think of the old Brownie song I learned in third grade:
"Make new friends
But keep the old
One is silver
And the other's gold.
A circle is round
And never ends
That's how long
You should keep your friends."
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