I've been feeling like nothing was really blog worthy recently, but then my American friend called and announced excitedly "We're pregnant!"
When I hung up a few minutes later, I commented to B that it struck me as odd, or an obligation to be socially correct, that my friend had said "we" and not "I". B didn't understand why she would even say that, and I wondered if a couple would announce in French "Nous sommes enceinte". (Quick Google search comes back with only websites with "nous" meaning "we women" talking about the health aspects of being pregnant).
Is it a language difference? A difference in thinking about what it means to be pregnant? An attempt to 'share' the pregnancy? My friend's husband announced "We're having a baby" which might seem a better way to include himself. My general practitioner told me her son and daughter-in-law announced they were having a baby by telling her and her husband they were going to be grandparents and I think my bil and sil did the same to announce the news to B's parents.
Anyway, I mentioned my friend's pregnancy to a different American friend and I was reminded of her aversion to ever having kids. While that's fine, I can't say I run into French people with the same opinion very often. It seems to be a really strong cultural influence that everyone will become parents one day. I like the family centered culture, but I wonder if each country hasn't gone to far: American women sacrificing family for their career, and French couples having kids whether they really want them or not.
1 comment:
My hubby laughed at me when I said "on est enceinte!" .. he promptly corrected me saying, "no, YOU are pregnant -- not me." My feelings were hurt for a minute because you feel a little isolated, like, I didn't get this way on my own!.. And then he replaced it with "on attend un bébé ensemble" which I guess is the best French equivalent to "we're pregnant".
As for obligation, I do feel it strongly in France. I have a lot of friends who are older than me, i'd say within a ten-year range, that feel a lot of pressure from their families to have kids. Then when they can't conceive right away or at all, they feel even worse. Somebody in France once told me that there's no point in getting married if you aren't planning on having kids, which I thought was ridiculous.
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