Hubby and I have been watching the first season of Stranger Things, and The Clash's song "Should I stay or should I go" (which is used several times in the show) made me think about my work situation, which has had me asking myself recently if I should stay or go.
I've felt like I'm in a holding pattern more or less since I started my new assignment back in January, and in September I even had kind of a mini crises feeling like I didn't matter and was good for nothing.
The problem boils down to two things: the dean does not delegate power and wants to approve everything, which means no one can act on their own and must wait for his approval (and the wait can be weeks or months in the coming); the dean has chosen to pursue an external accreditation as a posture or publicity stunt, and not as a fundamental embrace of the principles underlying the accreditation.
I'm supposed to be a project manager for a project not really understood nor supported by the dean, at least not by his actions (he's big on boiler plate language). It's hard to stay motivated after months of pitching ideas and suggestions and getting either no answer, or a negative answer.
So, should I stay or should I go? I finally have a CDI, and in the big scheme of things you could say it's better to be bored or answering personal email at work than mining coal. But the daily, weekly, monthly frustration of not being able to really use my skills and talents is wearing me down.
I'm still relatively busy with all my "extra-curricular" activities and life is generally good in Toulouse, but as I posted on Facebook in September "Reading War and Peace at work. Is this what I went to school for?!?"
2 comments:
A CDI? OMG! You have to cling to it, stay until you retire!
Just kidding. I know it's the Holy Grail but you could still look for other opportunities while staying a bit longer, no?
Hi there. I'm checking in for the first time in a long time...the CDI issue resonates so much with me. What I tell myself is that the job allows me to do all the other, important stuff I do outside of work. But then there are days when you're bored out of your mind. Boreout...I started watching Netflix at work. At least you're reading War and Peace...So is the CDI worth all the stuff it allows you do ? or is it too much and it's going to turn your brain to mush to the point of no return ?
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