Toutes Directions

My aunt would have been 70 today, and with a birthday always falling right around Thanksgiving and her home the place of 90% of my Thanksgivings till college, I've been thinking about her. I was just calculating that once my family moved to California when I was 4, I never spent a Thanksgiving without her until I went to college.

Saying my aunt was someone special is an understatement. She traveled the world, taught nearly 30 years of elementary school (she was an institution around Oakhurst, CA; some of the kids at the end of her career were the kids of her first students), was a lay pastor at her church and very active in spiritual development, got crafty in retirement, knew Yosemite National Park like the back of her hand, and acted as glue to my mom's large family both by hosting just about every big family event and by being one of the only family members in contact with everyone else.

But she was also someone extremely special to me. She gave me books and recommended authors, and broadened my reading horizon. She convinced my mom I should get my ear's pierced at 8 years old, and her highlights and manicures and fashion sense opened a world of possibilities to me as a teenager. She gave me traveling tips learned from her year backpacking around Asia (and all the other trips) and encouraged me to do the kind of traveling my mom might not dare (notably sleeping in your car and traveling alone). She told me about a similar long distance hike she had done in Nevada when I announced I was going walking for 5 days in England. When I after a friend's wedding and showed her the fun fascinator I had purchased a few days previously, she brought out her own fascinators she wore to book club.

Her home was always welcoming, and not just in a friendly way, but in a feel-free-to-make-yourself-a-sandwich way. I think her and my uncle's home was the only home, other than my parents', where I knew where the dishes went, where the sheets and towels were stored, and that the cool antique books were in the converted plant room and the strangely funny modern English version of the bible in my cousin's old room. Souvenirs from her travels were everywhere, and sometimes she would demonstrate the Nepalese prayer wheel or the galimoto bicycle toys from Africa.

I miss hearing from my aunt the amazing experience she had at her spirituality retreat, or the great new book she read and was going to send me, or how she had a whole solo road trip planned out to see the dessert flowers bloom and meet up with a friend.

If I've dared to travel alone, or wear that fabulous scarf (or fascinator) when some would hesitate, or spent an entire weekend reading a novel, it's because of her. My aunt wasn't the kind of person to be held back by a husband, a reluctant friend, or some idea that "women/teachers/wives/mothers shouldn't do that".

I spent two awesome weeks in Paris and surrounding areas with my aunt the summer I was 17, and I think that was the last time she was in Europe. My grandmother's health problems over several years, and then my aunt's swift cancer prevented her from coming back, and while I got to see her just about every year and every time I went back to California, it's too bad she couldn't come and discover Toulouse.

This year, I'm thankful for knowing my aunt.