French Funeral

I played with the local community band for a funeral today. A trombonist who retired from the band a few years ago (before I arrived) died this past week and those who weren't working or away played a few pieces during the mass.

I've been to more than my fair share of funerals in the States, but never one in France. Being a Catholic mass, there was communion and lots of amens and singing by the priest. I'm not Catholic so sometimes I'm surprised when the congregation recites a response. The rituals of Catholic services are rather confusing for me.

I didn't know the former band member, and after the service I felt like I didn't know him any better. There weren't any pictures of him with his family and friends, no testimonials of fond memories. The priest spoke about loss and grief, for those who believe and those who don't, about the faith of Christians that Jesus lived, and that God was playing the most beautiful melody for Yves in the afterlife.

American funerals seem to be much more about sharing the life of the loved one. I was going to say that maybe it's the secularization of America, but there are a lot more people in the US that go to church regularly than in France. French people (as far as I've seen), are baptized, married, and have their funeral in the church, and try to avoid it the rest of their lives. Maybe it's because Protestant churches in the States have modernized themselves to reflect the needs and desires of modern families, whereas French Catholic churches have clung to older rituals and practices. Not having grown up with funeral masses, perhaps I'm missing out on the power the service has to touch people and celebrate the person's life. Services could be different in other areas or for other families as well.

Reflecting about death and God are important, but I prefer celebrating a life and all we loved about a person during a funeral.