On watching the kids grow up

Next week I'll once again be tutoring the Bo..... family kids, my 7th academic year with them, though the first year was incomplete.

The oldest is off to college this fall, and I'll only be tutoring the younger two now. I never intended to be tutoring this long, even at all really once I got a full time job at the university, but when I saw the email from the French American club that a family was looking for a private tutor for English conversation at 30€ an hour paid in chèque emploi service (legal, not under the table), I decided to reply.

I met with them on a very snowy day in February 2012, and we set upon Monday evenings to tutor a half hour with their eldest, a son, and a half hour with their daughter.

In the years since then, I've helped them with quite a few homework assignments, explained lessons they didn't understand, played some games, and listened to some podcasts. Since I'm supposed to help them with their oral practice, I've also heard quite a bit about their grandparents in the Massif Central, skiing in the alps, trips with friends to Marseille, as well as their friends, hobbies, and who does the cooking and cleaning around their home. I'm also convinced the lines/skits the kids have all had to memorize don't help, but that's besides the point.

As hired help I can't say I know the family, and I've definitely not become friends with them, but an hour a week since 2012 has made me strangely intimate with this French family. I've been witness to the elder son's voice changing, a confrontational manner at 17 he didn't have at 14, and his perservering love of bike riding. For the daughter, she wasn't wearing a bra or make-up when I started tutoring in early spring 2012, but now she is a young woman eager to find an au-pair opportunity and pursue her interest in becoming a writer. The youngest son has gradually become an occasional pupil (usually when his older brother didn't want a lesson) and puberty has changed him from an eager learner to one rather bothered by the fact that there are so many words to remember and grammar rules to follow.

I've also been witness to the quiet wealth of the family: the house is not large for a family of 3 children and would indeed be considered small for the US, and I believe they only have one car. But private tutoring for children who are not failing or behind in their class aside, the language immersion trips, exchange student experiences, the skiing, the private school, and nice vacations all reveal that this is a privileged family. You wouldn't expect less from a doctor mother and an aeronautical manager father.

There is only one family computer, shared by parents and children, and the kids aren't overly family with some of my regular pop culture references for easy conversation topics (Disney characters, kids movies, TV shows), but where it counts they know what they are doing: despite a rather poor English level and what I would describe as weak analytical skills, the oldest son was accepted into a technically oriented "prépa" in Paris, and according to the mother it was a complicated application process. His parents' knowledge of the system have made up for his weak academic skills, and he will most likely continue on to become a computer engineer.

I wonder a bit how much the family has noticed my changes over the years. I don't share a lot about my personal or professional life, and I've never corrected their misconception that I teach English at the university, but I did have to inform them 2 years ago of a possibility I would be leaving Toulouse because of a concours. When I started, I thought it would something I would give up easily once I was pregnant or if I ever got a pay rise, but the former is moot and the latter didn't actually lead me to end my tutoring.

The youngest must be in 3ème this year, and the daughter in terminal, but seeing as how the daughter is the eager (and advanced!) student and her brother a bit out to lunch, I'm thinking it might be my last year.

And Monday evenings will no longer mean driving across town to sit at the dining table with a clear plastic table cloth and correcting errors in explanations of what the kids did during vacation.