Nationality update: the end is in sight

After my frustrating experience at the city hall, I wrote a letter to the Préfecture (you can't call them after all) to ask to receive my 'decret de naturalisation' and to turn in my residency card because I was I in a hurry to register for a civil servant exam for which proof of nationality is necessary. In truth, I had zero information about when I would get the documents (never got an invitation to the ceremony) and since it takes time to get an ID card I prefer to get everything started earlier rather than later. We are also applying for subsidized housing and I checked off the box that I was French, so I need the ID card so I can turn in our application.

My letter apparently was convincing enough (I put in there that I was "précaire" as a contract worker and wanted to "perenniser mon emploi") and I actually got a phone message from the Préfecture. I called the woman back and confirmed the hours when I could come to turn in my carte de résident.

Monday I rode my bike over before they closed for lunch, and was eventually shown into the crowded office of a woman who was not really happy to see me. I managed to take a couple pictures of my card before going in, so I have a couple "souvenirs" before I unceremoniously handed it over.

I had to sign a PV de résititution, and the civil servant was a bit annoyed that I wouldn't sign the first version she printed because it listed a "nom d'usage". She changed it to "nom d'épouse" saying it had to have something since I was getting my nationality through marriage and I just signed it.

I had to sign a document that stated that I already had American nationality and then indicate if I would keep it or if I planned to renounce it. I don't know what they do with those since normally France doesn't care what you do with your other nationalities.

Then I got the "welcome pack" that would have been handed out at the ceremony, which includes a copy of the Déclaration des droits de l'homme printed in color on card stock, the lyrics to La Marseillaise, a poorly scanned letter from François Hollande, a copy of the Charte des droits et devoirs du citoyen français, the 'highlights' of the 5th Republic constitution, the déclaration de nationalité française with an adjoining document indicating when the naturalisation was published in the Journal Officiel, and a little pamphlet entitled "vous venez d'acquérir la nationalité française" which provides useful information such as "you can get a French ID card", "you can get a French passport" and "here's a toll number to call for information".

As a side note, you can go to your local University library to find the paper copies of the Journal Officiel to find your name listed. The online version does not include the nationalizations or name changes.

Since I picked up this pack directly at the Préfecture, my understanding is that I won't be invited to a ceremony.

My thoughts on the whole thing:
- Getting my 10 year residency card was such a long slog (and expensive!) I'm a bit disappointed I didn't get better souvenir pictures at the end. I have the card scanned of course, but I would have liked for them to cut off the corner or to punch a whole in it like the Consulate did with my expired US passport so I could keep it. But the card included a "nom d'épouse" that I never asked for, and I actually put tape over it so that when photocopies were made the name didn't show up so I'm not that sad to give it up.

-So far I'm glad I don't have to go to the ceremony to pick up my papers (even if I would have gotten a half day off to attend). What I heard about it didn't make me want to go: having to sign the Marseillaise (my French husband doesn't even like to sing it), being lectured at about what it means to be French, and having the French officials pick up and leave as soon as their job is done (if your name is called at the end, there's no one left in the room). Having my picture taken with some haut-fonctionnaire who doesn't care who I am doesn't inspire me at all.

I re-requested an appointment at city hall to request my ID card and passport, and this time it should be okay.

I'm planning on going with lots of different laws printed about how women are not required to have a "nom d'usage" or "nom d'épouse" because it seems to be a real problem. I am even thinking about writing the Ministère de l'Intérieur because my naturalisation attestation includes a nom d'épouse. I figure if it's a document I have to keep forever, I'd rather have it list my name correctly.

For anyone else frustrated with having a "nom d'épouse" automatically show up I finally found a good resource: http://www.sosfemmes.com/points_de_vue/sujets/01_nom_du_mari.htm

About the middle of the page there's even information about how the government decided that foreign women married to French husbands did not have to have "nom d'épouse" on their carte de séjour since foreign men married to French wives don't have a 'nom d'époux".

When I started the whole process, my family members were anxious to hear any news and for the first couple months asked about once a month. I told them I would be sure to share the news as soon as I had it, but now that it's over I'm not actually that eager to shout it from the roof tops. It feels anti-climactic to announce "Yay, the paperwork finally arrived Monday at 11:50".

I feel a similar ambivalence about my naturalization as for marriage: I'm glad I did it, but I have different ideas about what it means and what it should feel like as compared to most people, so when I talk to them about it I either have to confront them with the fact that I don't conform to their expectations or I have to pretend to agree with them.

Ultimately becoming French is not about paperwork with a date on it. It's a slow process of adjustment that is often brought to our attention when spending time outside of France or with non-French people. I feel my most French when I'm in the US, with the UK a close second. As Rebecca so rightly stated "the longer I stay here, the more American I feel but the less American I become."