A cousin of mine in California had a baby about 3 weeks ago. Despite my suggestions and nudging, my parents have still not visited their niece or new grand-nephew (although they did see my cousin leaving as they arrived for Easter at my aunt's house). I should specify my cousin lives about 15 miles from my parents.
In an attempt to require them to see my cousin, I sent an email today saying I would exchange pictures of my 2 year old French nephew for pictures of my parents with my cousin and her baby. I got a reply that "the baby's nothing to look at yet, but we have pictures of the other event with friends".
Fuming about this, my husband asked me "Why get upset about what your parents do? If they don't want to spend time with family, so what?"
And to a certain extent that's true. But what gets me so riled up is the fact that my parents have family 25 minute car ride away but never take advantage of that.
Nine time zones away from most of my family and many friends, I try to keep in touch with cousins and aunts and uncles I didn't necessarily see often even when growing up in California because I know it's sharing the everyday ups and downs that keeps you connected. Family events where I have to study the names of my cousins before they show up and then give them a summary of my life since the last time we saw each other in 2003 feel like failure to me.
Living abroad has made me cherish the family I have partly because it is so far away, and partly because I have seen the way the French cherish family. I may not always like all of my in-laws, but I respect and admire the way they value their family.
1 comment:
I totally get you. I unfortunately don't have a close family either who are back in the UK. I have very bluntly told my cousin that it was important for me to stay in touch but with no avail. I often think about a time in the future where my parents are no longer around where I will be totally alone and have no ties to the UK anymore. That's hard.
I agree that having a french family that are close makes you want yours to be, but it can also rub it in a bit when your own are not.
We live far from family so we know how important it can be, it's a shame not everyone sees it like that. I try to find positive things but it is a hard situation to live.
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